: With Deepest Sympathy :

An Open Letter To Musubi-chan

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your husband, Onigiriman… The last time I saw him he was happily talking about your summer trips and his life in the 70s. It was such a pleasure to see him so enthusiastic about his married life and about issues that are universal to many Japanese/Asian Americans. But now we only have the memories, as we have now lost him to a greater purpose. He is no longer of this world, but resides peacefully in a better, more meaningful place, his own personal skybox, as it were, populated by the ghosts of other college football junkies and sponsored by the likes of Budweiser and Doritos (no, Mr. Quayle, there is no “E” in Doritos). 

Yes, I know, it is hard to believe that he is gone. There he lies in front of the TV in his favorite position, on his right side, head propped up on his right elbow and a can of beer in his left hand. I have notices others drop by and comment, “He looks so lifelike.” Indeed, I too, thought he was alive with his occasional burps, grunts, and trips to the bathroom. But I new he was in his special place when I saw him surfing with his remoted control and EVERY channel had a football game on… May he rest in peace…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hah! Just kidding, people. Yes, I’m more or less dead to the rest of the world when football season starts, but only on Saturdays (and sometimes Sundays and Monday nights and Thusday nights)… Yes, I’m a jerk for isolating myself for these few hours on these 14 Saturdays of the year; but it’s the only real vice that lingers from my youth: I have forsaken other sports such as baseball and basketball, I no longer smoke (both), I drive within the speed limit, I help around the house, I take showers regularly. NOTE: Drinking does not count because Musubi-chan and I indulge equally; and, of course, if she was interested in football, we’d have lots to talk about…

Go Bruins! 

One thought on “: With Deepest Sympathy :

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