A Narcissistic Moment: A Testimonial…

Response of the day…
girls and beer is a good mix.
— Posted 1/14/2004 by ddsb2000

Comment of the day…
I am not getting married.
— Posted by consummate_leah

Do you want to get married? If not, why not?

Kai read yesterday’s entry and instead of leaving me a comment, she posted the following, which was kinda of nice. Makes me feel like its all been worthwhile.

    Onigiriman posted on his Xanga about trying to be a positive influence to his students and that we were probably rolling our eyes about him saying that.

    * He got me really wanting to (finally) get my (jiggly) butt to… Click here to continue on Kai

What Kind Of Asian Are You?
Triphopx sent me a link about Asian American stereotypes. It’s provided by Nemesis, a company that promotes music by Asian American artists, such as Kristine Sa. The focus is on Asia and not on the individual heritage. For example, on kristinesa.com, there is no indication of Kristine’s heritage except for the fact that she is Asian. This is an interesting position to take, as some of you–and I–often make it a point to clearly identify our heritage, be it Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipino, etc… So instead of categorizing Asian Americans by heritage, Nemesis divides Young Asian Americans, using a criteria that may be familiar to many of you. They indicate that this categorzing is just for fun and not to be taken seriously, and so OF COURSE, I had to take it seriously… But after reading it, I must admit that I have kinda met members of each group, including me. Now, I am no longer a “young” Asian, but if I were to categorize myself when I was 20, it would have to be… Fobsta. Hahahahaha

So which one are you? The following is a list of the categories with just some of the defining characters (Except for Trendy Asian Bitch which had me nodding and cracking up at the same time). Click here for complete definitions.

Twinkie:
– Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
– Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
– You have few Asian friends, if any

Asian-American:
– You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you’re whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
– You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
– You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Yap (Young Asian Professional)
– You are in one of these professions: a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical, b) Engineering, c) Finance, d) Investment Banking, e) Accounting
– Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic
– You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)
– You were not born in America
– You do not have any non-Asian friends
– Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you’re from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe

SuperFob
– Your command of the English language is minimal and you don’t care
– All the lights in your house are fluorescent
– You either smell like cigarettes or food

Fobulous
– You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
– You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
– You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
– You are a good designer and have superior Html skills

Fobabee
– You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently “awoken”
– You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
– You have taken the Asian Studies course at college

Fobsta
– When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
– You have a serious gambling problem
– You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)
– You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
– You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to “mix it up”
– You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
– You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
– You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
– You do not smile in public
– You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
– You smoke
– Your cell phone is completely customized
– On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
– Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
– You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
– You are often seen with Rice-boys

Hoochie Tab
– Your boobs are not real
– Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
– You cheat on your boyfriend
– Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school

Rice-Boy
– You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
– Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it’s original stock form
– You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
– If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.

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Whew! And I thought I needed a rectal exam…

I’m glad I’m not being too anal. I was not the best student in the world, to be sure. I’d bet a bunch of old friends and former teachers would vouch for that. But, as I will eventually write about in the continuation of NLUTE, I met a human anatomy professor at a community college who was personable, concerned, encouraging and funny. The class–for those of you with wild imaginations–dealt with the entire body, but mostly internal structures such as muscles, organs, and nervous system. This professor has been my template, the one person I try to emulate. Damn, he changed my life! And it has been my goal to be a positive influence–in any measure–to my students… Of course, I can just imagine them rolling their eyes RIGHT NOW as they read this. You know who you are: Mr_Mephisto, korikai, CaptainGaijin, MarJa, jammkat, GOnews, hanazakari, Purin_kun, Shiroi_Norite, Grom, Christine0109, Windward_Skies, FanaticalSHORN, triphopx, ross229er, kizyr (hope I didn’t miss anyone)… If you visit these guys–some don’t post actively–leave them a comment.

Sex Education… from mmh
One day, a boy asked his dad: “Dad, why does making love feel so good?”
Dad said: “Its just like picking your nose. Of course it feels good.”
Son asks: “Then why don’t men feel as good as girls?”
Dad said: “Because when you pick your nose, its your nose that feel good, not your finger.”
Son asks: “Then why do women feel bad when … Click here to continue at mmh.