I’m a Soul Man 1…

O

kay, I know that there are a LOT of people who have been a Xangan longer than me. But after a year and well over 300 posts, I kinda feel like a veteran. But I still have a lot to learn, I’m sure, and so I will continue to seek the advice of many of you out there. どうぞよろしく…

I have been so busy lately. I thought summer had come. Geez, if this is what the rest of my summer is going to be like, come on Fall semester! I need a break! Anyway, I haven’t been able to log onto Xanga as much as I’d like to, and I feel my posts have been unfulfilling in a way… Further, I have not commented on many of the sites I subscribe to because of this lack of time. What I have been able to do, however, is comment on the sites of those who comment on mine. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is busy, so if someone generously offers the time to make a comment on my site, I will always try to return the favor. Of late, that’s all the time I’ve had for…

In response to a recent post, simply_marie asked if I thought of the following statement was true.

Soulmates aren’t hatched… They grow. You make a connection, build a relationship, and then you realize, ‘This is my soul mate’

Well, Simply, to give you the answer I give to virtually every question: That depends. Hehehehe… No, really. We’re all different and we all approach things differently. I’m not trying to give you a bunch of BS, but this is so true of virtually every aspect of our lives. Reality, as we know it, is based solely on how we interpret things we see and hear and feel, and the interpretation is always influenced by our point a view, a view that is an amalgamation of our own individual experiences. As such, my views, as stated here as Onigiriman, are hued by my personal experiences. So let me tell you mine.

I have had my share of girlfriends. Not a lot, but enough to be able to come to somekind of personal conclusion concerning the male-female relationship. All these previous girls were nice–an obvious statement, because I was initially attracted to them–and I began to pick and choose traits that I thought were appealing–or worse, appropriate–in the person that I thought would eventually become my wife. She had to be able to cook, sew, know Japanese, understand Japanese culture, be good with kids, be understanding of my selfish tendancies–such as indulging in drinking and sports–accept that fact that I would be the male in the household, be intelligent with an advanced degree (MA/PhD) in the humanities (no MBAs or engineers, please), and have a good sense of humor. Oh yeah, if she was good looking, that would be a plus…

Ouch! Man, who threw the rock? And stop hissing! I’m not finished…

Anyway, I thought I found her: K’s mother (my first wife). She could cook and sew. She was great with kids. She was born in Japan and so obviously knew Japanese and Japanese culture. She already had an MA in sociology from Meiji University and was working for a PhD in Anthropology at UCLA. She had a sense of humor, as well. The only possible flaw that she might have had was that she was older than me by 8 years. But her age perhaps allowed her to accept my selfish tendencies. She was old-school. I don’t mean to suggest that she walked three feet behind me when we stepped out, but she was more accepting of the old ways. But she was also the product of contemporary and higher education in the US, so she made sure that there was some sort of balance in our household. Indeed, I learned many of the finer points of cooking from her, as well as cleaning and rearing children. So in case you think I was a chauvanistic pig, I wasn’t… well not that much, anyway… To top it all off, she was a “half”: Japanese and German. She was not unattractive. But even better, as a half, she had been subjected to discrimination while growing up in Japan, and so was sympathetic to my issues as a minority in the US. Sounds perfect, right?

Wrong.

Cont’d tomorrow…

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