Kerry Wins Presidency!

T

hat’s right! Senator John Kerry, the Democratic presidential candidate has been elected as the 43 president of these United States. Sorry, all you Bush backers. But it’s official. Send the lawyers home. Don’t need to count the hanging chads. Don’t need to harrass voters with provisional ballots. The results are in:

Green Bay Pac-men 28 – Washington Redskins 14

Yes, in an historical quirk, a string of coincidences, the presidency has been foretold the past 17 times–dating back to 1936–based on the results of the last Redskin’s home game prior to the election. Whenever the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins, and when the Redskins lose, the challenging party ousts the incumbent. For example, in 2000, the Redskins lost to the Titans 27-21 and Gore–the candidate for the incumbent Democratic party–lost to Bush.

In 1996, Clinton’s is re-elected when Redskins bveat Indianapolis Indianapolis. In 1992, the Skins lose to the Giants 24 to 7, and the incumbent party represented by Bush I is ousted by Clinton. So on and so forth.

This is, of course, a bunch of BS and freaks out only those who actually believe in things like astrology, um… like President Reagan… no wait, that was his wife, Nancy. But ya gotta admit, this is a pretty amazing string of coincidences.

Anyway, if you haven’t voted early and you’re registered…

Be sure to vote tomorrow!

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