Forcast Snow

Update: Did I call it or what–“it’ll snow just enough to make things miserable, but not enough to close the school.” Off to class now…

T

oday, I had at least three different students tell me that snow was forecast for the DC area. Most people who live north of us usually laugh at the paralysis that overtakes the DC metro area when as little as three inches of snow fall. But please remember, we are not used to it. We don’t have the three-feet of snow overnight kind of snow here. I mean, I live in Virginia, and if I recall my high school Anerican history course correctly, Virginia was a member of the confederacy, i.e. The South.

It’s supposed to be warm…

But I won’t get my hopes up… AGAIN! There will be no paralysis for me. I will go to school. I will hold my regularly scheduled class. I DO NOT expect that coveted snow day. I will not slack off with preparing for class because with my luck, it’ll snow just enough to make things miserable, but not enough to close the school. So I hope whoever it is that’s in charge of snow realizes that I DO NOT expect enough snow to close the school, because–and this has been proven time and again–whenever I expect it to snow a lot, it never does. So please hear me, Director of Snow up above, I’m telling you that I am now preparing for my 5 PM class tomorrow. I am re-reading the stories I assigned by Akutagawa–The Martyr, Kesa and Morito and The Dragon–and considering good questions in the hopes of arousing a spirited discussion on the lack of an absolute Truth, on the idea that Truth is an individual thing often bolstered by sensory evidence and group mentality–I mean, if enough people believe it, it must be true, right? So, yes, it is nearly 3:30 in the morning and I am preparing, because I DO NOT expect snow to close the school. It has been scientifically proven that when I think it will snow and I slack off, 100% of the time I will be caught unprepared. So please know that I will be prepared for class; maybe not now, maybe not at 6 AM, but soon… or at least in time for class… because I DO NOT expect it to snow enough to cancel class.

I will be prepared, I will be prepared, I will be prepared.

(Please snow, please snow please snow… I’m beggin’ ya…)

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