This should serve as an introduction for this humble riceball of a man.

onigiri (oh-neegee-ree) n. a ball of rice eaten with or as a meal in Japan. To create, lump a handful of cooked rice into the lightly salted palm of one hand. Place umeboshi (salted plum) in the middle and with the other hand, squeeze the rice together forming a trangular shape. Umeboshi may be substituted with other fillings, including salted-salmon bits, dried bonito flakes and konbu (seasoned kelp). Wrap in nori (dried seaweed sheet) prior to eating.

Onigiriman (oh-neegee-ree-man) pn. a living Japanese rice ball conceived in Japan, born in the US. Male. Umeboshi substituted with a combination of narcissistic tendencies, a heap of sarcasm, a pinch of cynicism and a whole lot of attitude. Can and will communicate in both English and Japanese. Can and will consume 10 pints of beer in one sitting, but will get plastered after only three if someone else is buying (conditions may vary). Approach with caution; befriend with open mind. Wrapped in nori seaweed to hide that beer belly. Sunglasses de rigor.


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